shame

Asta-i o pânză destul de mare pentru mine, şi am făcut lucrarea asta în timpul bienalei Art Encounters din Timişoara, când atelierul nostru Balamuc a fost gazda unei retrospective de fanzine a artistului supercul Dan Perjovschi. Menţionez asta pentru că nu am avut mediul obişnuit de lucru şi a trebuit să mă obişnuiesc cu vizitatori plimbându-se şi punând întrebări, ceea ce a fost din când în când greuţ dar cel mai des mişto şi interesant.

M-am gândit destul de mult la subiectul ăsta (în special cu ocazia porcul absolut) şi am citit nişte articole la temă, aşa că iniţial pe pânză era scris: trăim într-o cultură a ruşinii – aşa şi trebuie. Se vede în fotografia cu detaliul din timpul lucrului. Dar după ce am vorbit cu prieteni şi familie despre asta am ajuns la concluzia că se poate interpreta greşit cum că ruşinea este focusul culturii noastre în loc să fie motivaţia acţiunilor noastre, ceea ce ar însemna că oamenii se concentrează pe a se elibera de ruşine în loc să găsească un răspuns la un context istoric neruşinat. Ioi, trecusem de jumătate când am văzut că era plină de resentiment şi amărăciune, ceva de necrezut; am decis să o las mai moale şi să redobândesc ceva simţ al umorului. Cu alte cuvinte, sub influenţa unor studii deştepte despre culturi motivate de ruşine/vinovăţie am făcut o lucrare înnebunitor de confuză, pe o pânză mare, să fiu sigură că n-o să treacă neobservată de zecile de vizitatori care-au venit la noi în atelier. Mno, era de aşteptat să se întâmple, mai repede sau mai târziu, nu poate să fie omu amuzant tăt timpul. Mai jos e o listă, în engleză, în original cu toate textele din imagine (scroll for English)

shame, 150x150cm, marker, ink on canvas, 2015

shame

This is quite a large canvas for me, and I’ve made this work during the Art Encounters event in Timişoara, where our studio Balamuc was hosting a fanzine retrospective by a supercool artist Dan Perjovschi. I am mentioning that because I couldn’t have the normal environment for work and instead I had to adjust to visitors walking about and asking questions, which was at times challenging but mostly fun and interesting.

I thought about this subject quite a bit (especially relating to the absolute pig) and read some articles on the matter, so initially on the canvas it was written: we live in a culture of shame – as we should. You can make out from the work in progress photo. But then, after talking about it with friends and family I came to the conclusion that it might be misunderstood as shame being the focus of our culture rather than being the motivation for our action, which would mean that people are focusing on being shame-free rather than responding to a shameless historical context. Phew, more than half way through I saw that it was so full of resentment and bitterness I could not believe it, and choose to cool it down a bit and try to regain some sense of humour. In other words, being under the influence of some really smart studies about shame/guilt driven cultures I made a crazy confusing work, on a very large canvas, just to be sure it would not go unnoticed by the dozens of visitors in our studio. Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later, one cannot stay funny all the time.

detaliu din timpul lucrului / work in progress

detaliu

And it says:

Shame vs Guilt

I promise to renounce all humour and learn German to be able to utter words like Vergangenheitsbewältigung I promise to recycle I promise to reuse I promise to understand others I promise to get to know more I promise to keep calm I promise to repair I promise to care more I promise to care more I promise to care more I promise to care more I promise to care more I promise to care more

we are ashamed of your constant progress which is getting you close to happiness and death

you are all ashamed of the luxurious rattle made by our unfair neurons in our unfair conquest of your space

a kind variation to titillate minds

I imagine I can stop whenever like anytime I want

no magic bits and bobs here –  just those magic beans

move along there’s nothing serious here – just honour

I cannot help with the overwhelming information

I used to work to honour my genes

if you look close to the land behind you can see the footsteps of all the lost

I remember the town of my youth grey and white and crystal clear

an ode to nuclear bunkers

the bunker people are looking at Tito

what do you remember from your first mouthful

fun fact the voice of your parent at the far end of your skull is called tinitus

you thought this is postcolonialism?

postrambo

in the back of my mind our buddhas cry their atoms out and that’s not just pretty poetry is fiction just like everything else here

my english works are not so funny

I used to stay inside

I used to be a girl

I used to be fun

I used to say hello

there was a memory which took its time to make it back to me – I wish it didn’t

the first memory of being wrong

I used to hate white I didn’t get it

I used to enjoy fucking everything

I had to get used to myself

this is a folded paper it’s not a famous art piece by Brâncuşi

 



Comments are closed.